I have had a lot of thoughts in my head this week. My little mind has been overwhelmed with details and ideas and nineteen credits and conflicting plans. Last night I got the chance to talk to several dear friends from home. I told one of them that even though the weekend was here, I couldn’t seem to figure out how to rest: whether to be with people to escape from my own harried thoughts or to sit by myself and wait out the storm in my head.
I’m still not sure. Right now I’m emotionally undone: there are too many people and things to care about. I so much want to love it all well, and I feel like I’m doing only a passable job. But lists are easy and soothing, and so, in inexact order, here is my advice for myself this weekend:
1. No Quad business until Tuesday night when it’s time for coding. None.
2. Do not offer to cook for anyone until Thursday at the earliest. You already have too many leftovers.
3. Ask for help when you need it.
4. Fold your laundry.
5. Remember that you are incapable of irrevocably screwing up your life with one decision about classes.
6. Don’t go anywhere besides church on Sunday.
7. Make it a priority to read well rather than finishing everything.
8. Wear t-shirts that you like.
9. Lock yourself away somewhere with your novel pages. Try to write words that make sentences and when you are too frightened to go on, pray to the One who “shall enlarge your heart.”
10. You are small. Just because everyone else seems to be able to handle it perfectly, doesn’t mean you must. The only thing you must do is ask loud and clear, as John Donne does, for “that grace to begin.” That’s all that’s required. Christ has done the rest.