How Things Are

I am home. Back at school, I mean–the other home. I am in three lit classes this semester, which is a heaven built of anthologies, and yesterday Sarah and I rearranged our room to resemble something livable. I keep getting distracted from typing because I have to stop and stare at our acres of floor space and cozy-corner-that-would-hold-a-chair-if-we-had-room-for-one. The time to visit me is now. Especially if you like snow–honey, we got it!

There’s another thing about which I’m really quite exhilarated: I’m writing a story. And I think this one’s going to be a novel, or at least it seems gargantuan in my head, and to plan it I’ll need a whole wall of chalkboard which I don’t have. I also need a bunch of Vogues and a pretty detailed cross-section of St. Paul’s Cathedral. To be honest, I probably also need some books about London because the three days I spent there when I was fourteen crying on the Tube and staring at crown jewels aren’t much to draw from. I’m planning on making some nice Wordsworthian allusions and rekindling my love for dollhouses. I’ll see. We’ll see. But please be excited for me.

There’s something else. Not really something else, actually, more the reason for it all. God is pursuing me. I don’t have any specific stories to tell or any great revelations to share (at least not yet). But I can testify that, as my dear Hannah would say, “God is so, so cool, you know? He really is.” He is doing something spectacular. He is making my little stubborn-as-heck heart want Him. I really, really want Him. I have never been able to say that with complete honesty before. I’ve wanted what he has to offer–I’ve wanted forgiveness, I’ve wanted redemption, I’ve desperately wanted to be clean, but I’ve never wanted Christ. And now I do. I mean, not all the time, only occasionally, but I am beginning to have some inkling of what people mean when they pray to have “a heart for Christ.” I can’t remember ever having asked for it in that way, but He is giving and giving and giving. I am beginning to be able to worship my Lord both for what He did for me and who He is. He has been that “still, small voice” recently, and even there, especially there, He is breathtaking.

So, how are things? Well, not that I was in anything like a bad place before, but things are looking up. And so am I.

5 thoughts on “How Things Are

  1. I love you! And I am very excited about your novel! Now, I have two friends writing novels! Woooo! I am glad things are looking up. God is spectacular, and it’s just crazy how He loves us even when our hearts are so fickle. You make me happy! And I miss you lots, but I am very glad we are both loving our “other homes”. Have a good week, dear friend!

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