I am sitting in my room, writing my first blog entry and feeling cold. This is not the first time this has happened this week–maybe this one will actually get posted. I’m strangely nervous about the whole scenario. I mean, I wanted to start a blog. I set it up one day on a whim, when I should have been doing homework, but now I’m having funny little doubts, which is odd. I usually make sudden decisions, then cling to them stubbornly–good or bad. Maybe it’s because I miss paper– a lot. Or maybe because I feel like I have to update it regularly. I don’t know. But anyway, Hi. I’m still Alice, and I’m still writing, but I’m entirely out of my comfort zone. Weird, huh?
The purpose of this blog (I think) is so I can write and so the people who like to read what I write can do so without my saying, “Hey…so I wrote this…wanna read it?” I need this outlet. Writing helps me think, and though I am very comfortable at college, I don’t have all the long conversations like I did at home to marshal my thoughts. It is a lovely autumn here, I had a blueberry muffin for brunch, and there is a scattering of people whom I like very much, and who like me back. But still. I’m lonely. Here I am in this Christian community, but as terrible as it sounds, so what? I’ve had that all my life.
So I am scared, and I am starting this blog in good faith. Good faith that posting on it will soon feel natural, good faith that people will read it, good faith that I will have something worthwhile to say, good faith that God will grow me, and good faith that Dr. Brown will bully my writing into something unbelievable. I’m starting this in good faith that I will put down roots wherever I go and be able to feel as if they’ve been there for always.